I am autistic - Stories of Young Women with Autism

I have autism.

Doesn’t seem right saying it. Doesn’t seem true.

I know why this is. It’s probably because its only been official a few years.

I get told I’m autistic. Often as an insult.

But I do have Autism Spectrum Disorder

I think my doctors are finally making their way through my head and my mental health diagnoses to see that there is something left.

There is autism. There is me. There is my mental health.

Autism can’t be fixed. It won’t go away. It was always there in one shape or another. It has affected my mental health for years

Autism for me is something I’ve got, but don’t want it known.

I can sometimes disclose it, often to those who are actually furthest from me. They don’t need as much evidence to prove my autism is real. There also the ones who usually see it in action, like at university.

I feel terrible feeling such shame, but I’m more worried of scepticism than attack.

I don’t know what I look like to an outsider. I can’t really imagine it.

For me, autism manifests itself inside me in more ways than people know. More than those closest to me know.

I wish it could be recognised. But I also want to hide.

I wish I could bring it all out and explain, but I can’t quite communicate that way.

I wish my autism was more recognised in plans to treat my mental illness.

Who knows…? Maybe then we’ll start getting some successes

My Name is Veronica and I’m autistic.

One day, I’ll explain how autism is for me. Not just quite yet though. Coming out is enough for me at the moment so I don’t have to skate around the edges of it here and on instagram