By Anonymous

Being diagnosed with autism really changed things for me. It changed how I perceived myself. It changed how I viewed my difficulties. It changed how I managed things. But significantly, it has changed how my mental illness has been treated by health professionals.

No longer so fixated on ‘fixing me’, I started to be taught how to manage. How to manage socially. How to manage when I was overwhelmed. How to manage better when I felt I had no options left. Although not perfect and still a lot of practice and searching to go, it was monumental to feeling more okay with myself. I could recognise myself as having a neurodivergent condition, rather than just being flawed. I had autism and didn’t need feel like I needed fixing like I did before.

It brought clarity and validation, finally understanding why things had been so much more challenging for me. Why I had little luck with conventional approaches to managing my mental illness and finally understanding why I’ve always felt like I think, feel and act differently from others.

Knowing of my autism has given me the opportunity, the language and the confidence to advocate for myself and others. It has given me the words to know my rights and my needs. I can look at myself through a more compassionate and understanding lens.

Although my mental illness is still severe, management seems more achievable now. It has led to greater self-awareness and feelings of recovery starting to emerge. With an achievable outcome in sight, one where I was myself and neurodivergent, rather than perfectly neurotypical - things started feeling more possible. Recognising autism as part of my identity allowed me to embrace my neurodivergence and appreciate my uniqueness. There is less anxiety about not perfectly fitting in. I can see that some of my struggles have come from neurodivergence rather than personal failure. I am not flawed. I am autistic.