Part 2 in a series exploring the experiences of young women with autism.

People aren’t pretending to be autistic just because they don’t behave or look similar to the autistic people you are already aware of in your life. If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve only met one person with autism. Two people with autism won’t behave the same way or look the same way.

Being diagnosed late with autism doesn’t mean you’re pretending to be autistic. It doesn’t mean it hasn’t existed all along. Maybe you’ve learnt to mask things, maybe its become more of a stress because of confounding factors. Often people realise certain struggles or behaviours from their whole life can be explained by autism. Every autistic person’s journey is unique, and whether diagnosed early or late, their experience is real.

Receiving a diagnosis can be both a relief and a challenge. For many, it brings a sense of validation and self-understanding. They finally have an explanation for things that may have made them feel different or misunderstood throughout their lives. It’s not about pretending or seeking attention—it’s about gaining clarity and the ability to embrace who they truly are.

What’s it like being a young woman with autism? - “Lonely - autism presents definitely in women and girls. No one understands you The world is too bright, too loud. Too much.” - Anon

Being diagnosed with autism later in life is a valid and real experience, and it does not mean that someone is pretending or "faking" autism. Many people, especially women and those from underrepresented groups, go undiagnosed for years or even decades because the diagnostic criteria was traditionally focused on young boys. Autism presents in different ways depending on the person, and societal expectations or misunderstandings can lead people to mask or hide traits that are actually part of their autistic identity.

“I am from a Somali background where the idea of disabilities is very taboo. I just recently got diagnosed and i wish people knew about how exhausting it is to have to mask all day every day. We have to learn to make ourselves seem like everyone else despite our brain not working like that. We do this for so long to the point that we don’t even know what our true identity is.” - Anon.

It’s important for young women with autism to know that their experiences are valid, even if they don’t fit the stereotypical mold, and that finding their authentic selves—without the pressure to mask—is possible. By embracing their differences and seeking supportive environments, autistic young women can thrive and make meaningful contributions in their own unique ways.

“Being autistic isn’t hard, I love my autistic brain, it’s beautiful, it’s kind, smart and funny (even when not trying). Living in a society made for and run by neurotypicals is hard, masking is hard, trying to live up to unrealistic expectations whilst pushing through your own personal boundaries is hard. Being autistic isn’t hard, the world is. (But it’s getting better and I’m grateful)” - Edi

So if you’re wondering if you’re pretending, chances are you’re not. You’re experience is valid. If you’re wondering if someone else is pretending, just think - maybe I just don’t know what autism looks like…

What are your experiences with having autism? Does the way things present or how things have unfolded make you question things? Let us know on instagram or in the comments below. Another article exploring lots of different people’s experiences is coming soon.