Thank you to those who have always been there.

The thing is when you are struggling, you really seem to forget that there are so many people around you that would want to know that you're doing it rough. They would want to help, they would want to hold you and to know what is going on but sometimes it doesn't feel like there is anyone there.

But they are and they always have been.

You might feel isolated and alone and like no one cares. But they do, they care so much but they can't help if you don't tell them what is happening and push people away.

This is something that I have had a lot of trouble realising. There were many people who said that they were concerned, but I denied it for a very long time. I thought I was being irrational and couldn't possible ever say anything going on in my head out loud for fear that I would be hated. I am generally stubborn, shy and determined to get through things alone which really doesn't help.

But thank you for speaking up, although I didn't do something about it then and there - every time something was said I got a little bit closer to doing something about it. Thank you for being there for me the whole time and sticking with me, despite my anxious flakiness and being so reserved. At times I likely haven't been the most fun person to be around. Thank you for your persistence, your support and your continual love, even when I was in denial.

Thank you to my biggest supporters - my beautiful family and friends. Thank you to those who have saved me so many times without even knowing it, whether this was talking me down, being a distraction or just being there. I appreciate it more than you will ever know and you might not even know the occasions when you have saved me from myself. 

Thank you to my gorgeous friends from school, Africa, university, my family and to the advisors at college. Thank you for always being there and sticking with me when I said I was fine and I wasn't. It's taken me a long time to admit it and to be open and to talk to you but you have always been there. You have always been a massive support and a tremendous help, often without even knowing it. 

So if you suspect someone you love might be doing it tough but doesn't want to admit it, remember your persistence will pay off and each time you are there they might make one step closer to realising that it is ok to talk. 

If you're not feeling ok, remember - the people who express concern are doing it out of love and maybe try listening to them, they will still love you if you tell them what is going on in your head - they often know you better than you know yourself.

Lots of Love,

Veronica

xxx